Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Moved On


I love you blogger but wordpress just does it for me...

Friday, February 13, 2009

Chocolate Kisses

So the boyfriend is going away for the weekend on some family business. This makes me kind of sad because this would have been our first Valentines Day together. At the same time I am glad. I tend to put off a lot of minor things that make my life sane when we are together. For example I used to shred junk mail or bills I already paid immediately after I get in the door. Now I just pile it on my dinning room table. The pile has become it's own mound that now triggers my OCD when I come in the room yet this week I have been too tired to do anything about it.

Take car to get oil changed. My weight is really getting to me. Sushi sounds good. I wonder if the permanent fixture that is my relatives' boyfriend will be around this weekend? Gotta fix the stupid counter top that he f-ed up. I wonder if I can counter act the affects of eating onion rings?

Seems being tired has been happening often to me lately. Yet I have too much to do this weekend to let that be an excuse. We are moving next month and there is so much to do before then. It feels too early to pack but since there already several things going on the next couple weeks I have to get started.

Next weekend the boyfriend and I are going north to spend sometime in Hershey, P.A., the land of chocolate. Its utopia (and some say crack-like) to a person like me. Heck, I don't know where I should start; eat my way through Chocolate World, drool at the Hershey Parade, indulge in a chocolate bath or just have the boyfriend feed me chocolate until my body until he can taste it on my skin. (Just the though of that last one made my body tingle.)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Suspect Hustle...

It's 4 am and as much as I would love to write why I am up so early I will not... I will say I am pissed about the situation and pray that this doesn't happen again.

Among my sleep surfing, I ran across an updated story on welfare octoplets:


Sadly it will be up to Californians, who are already dealing with government financial woes, to take care of the 6 kids that Suleman and the octoplets that she recently conceived.

I thought I spent my two cents on Angry Black Bitch's Blog but every news story about this woman and her kids keeps providing me with more money to put down.

While I have no idea what category this woman's situation specifically lies, her situation does bring the need to discuss limitations on public assistance, social responsibility for people with mental disorders, ethics in vitro fertilization and public/federal assistance scams.

"Some of the disability money was spent on in vitro fertilizations, which was used for all 14 of her children, Suleman said. She said she also worked double shifts at the mental hospital and saved up for the treatments. She estimated that all her treatments cost $100,000. "

Ok so she saves up her disability money (which she could have used to help her and her mother improve their living situation) and gets knocked up 14 times? Come on.. Can you say benefits hustle... This reminds me of people I knew who used to sell their foodstamps for cash..

"Suleman, whose six older children range in age from 2 to 7, said three of them receive disability payments. She told NBC one is autistic, another has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, known as ADHD, and a third experienced a mild speech delay with "tiny characteristics of autism." She refused to say how much they get in payments.
In California, a low-income family can receive Social Security payments of up to $793 a month for each disabled child. Three children would amount to $2,379."

Does anyone see a pattern here??? I can't even fathom the emotional and financial hardships that arise when raising an autistic or a ADHD child but from the stories of others around me its beyond a full time job. Yet she has three children, who receive disability benefits, and she gets pregnant again. Suspect??

F-it.. I am going to outright say it.. This has traits of an old school baby momma hustle. It is the hustle I have seen before. A woman gets pregnant multiple times to receive benefits... I thought most states curb tailed that with welfare time limits but since these children are legally disabled their mother will receive benefits until either the child is no longer in her care (i.e.- moves out on their own.)

The hustle continues into cyberspace..

"Also, a Nadya Suleman Family Web Site has been set up to collect donations for the children. It features pictures of the mother and each octuplet and has instructions for making donations by check or credit card."


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Please excuse the negative post...

Today I have no motivation to write but I need to because there is so much on my mind. There have been a lot of changes going on in my life that seemingly I have no control over. Only thing I know I have control over is my every increasing weight and lately I have had no motivation to even deal with that.

My living situation has drastically changed since the ending of my last blog site. Hell, the world has drastically changed since I have been in blog space. During this time the economy wasn't great but I felt financial stable and lived on my own without hesitation. I did my job and I was rewarded greatly.
Back then I thought wasn't doing enough to better myself but set goals to counteract those thoughts. Losing weight seemed priority number one and at one time I was working out 5-6 days a week. One of my favorite goals was to spend more time with my family, especially my niece and nephews, who in part put all my dramatic antics into perspective. My inquisitive niece used to keep me on my toes. Every time she would ask me one of her complex questions, I'd be taken back by them. My nephews are my joy. Being raised around a few boys/men, I love to watch them grow and hear their perspectives on life. They all intrigue me and even had me thinking I wouldn't mind having a little one. (Of course I would snap back into reality and remember that little ones cost money.)

I was also enjoying the joys and pains of living single. I was also lingering on a "relationship" with Dada Brown Eyes. I wrote about him a lot and soon he found out about it and started to comment "anonymously" on the posts about him. Then one day I FINALLY took Jer's advice and washed him out of my hair. This oddly enough resulted into a relationship I was not expecting.

Now with the economy as it is, I do not feel secure as I used to. Job security, even within the various branches of government is sketchy (i.e. - California Government workers furlough) and rattles my nerves at times. My spending habits have curb tailed drastically. I am sharing a place with a relative of mine in hopes of helping me save money. (Boy was I wrong. To be continued on another blog.) I am not saving as much as I used to. When I do save money it seems another bill pops up and I dig into my savings to pay it. It seems like I am losing money on things I do not utilize as much. I bought into a vacation package that I hoped to use this year but due to financial woes, I worry I will not be able to. The gym membership is one the most wasteful right now. I even bought some lessons with a personal trainer there to keep me motivated. Unfortunately it did not.

I also have a boyfriend now, which I seem to grow fonder of each day. I never thought I'd find someone who'd make me laugh and feel as good as Dada. His energy is different from Dada's and other men in my past. It took me a while to get use to his energy but it soothes me as apposed to causing a roller coaster ride of emotions that men in my past brought out of me. He also is seems to understand my influx of emotions lately (and hasn't run away from them yet.) He is practically living with me and thankfully he helps alleviate some of my emotional and financial burdens that I seem to have taken on.

My family has endured a lot of changes; some good, some bad, some just frustrating, some well overdue. My nieces (there have been additions to the family) and nephews seem to be growing faster than I can see them. My inquisitive niece has found her a little playmate and doesn't have much time to ask me the profound questions she used to, (which I am some what happy about because I don't know how many more of those questions I could take.) I see my nephews more. Yet they seem to be more interested in my boyfriend who has become their biggest playmate and video game adversary. Though at times I do miss the one on one time with them they are truly in their element when he plays with them and I cannot ask for more than that.

Due to several reasons, some of my own doing, the pursuit of some goals have come to a halt. My weight has increased significantly. I had to decrease my freelancing gigs because I lack focus and seem to stress more than usual. My quest to find a good church home has stopped. I will be moving soon to a bigger place with my boyfriend and my relative. At times I feel like my life is in disarray and feel as if this is a permanent feeling. For right now all I can do is pray for guidance...